Smells like CrossFit
I
wish we had a secret handshake. All the great and enduring cults – no of course
I mean “groups” – in history have one. And we qualify as such a “group” right?
Let’s
go through the checklist I found online shall we?
- The group displays excessively zealous commitment to its leader. Check.
- Mind-altering practices push the body to
the extreme. Pukey says “check”
- The group is elitist. Check. Unless
we’re forging pedestrian fitness now.
- The group has a polarized us-versus-them
mentality. Check. Unlikely to change unless we bring Zumba into our
warmups.
- The group is preoccupied with bringing
in new members. Check. Tia and I are considering printing little leaflets saying
“Have you Found CrossFit?” and handing them out at Virgin Active.
- Members devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities. Check; I’m writing this in between practicing pull-ups from my security door.
-
Exclusive rites and ceremonies. Check. We
like to call ours “burpees”
I’m
joking of course. Cult members don’t eat as much cream as we do. (Paleo; I love
you.) And they don’t have our killer T-shirts.
Nope,
we don’t have a secret handshake. Possibly because no one wants your bleeding
palms covered in sticky Friar’s Balsam touching them. What we do have however are
T-shirts. And we wear them wherever, whenever we get together with other zealots,
whether in our box or not.
Why?
Because CrossFit isn’t only about the WODs, it’s about the people, about our
attitude, about the big values we embrace and the small things only other CrossFitters understand.
The 5 min flash
lunchtime CrossFit workout
Last
week someone told me she was doing CrossFit. I mean, “CrossFit”. She described
her non-certified trainer and non-affiliated gym with enthusiasm while hobbling
like someone who got a little extra loving from Fran. It made me angry. And
sad. Angry because her coach is robbing our community. Sad because he’s robbing
her of the full, true CrossFit experience.
It’s
like this: you can take antioxidant pills, but you can’t duplicate the lip-puckering
tartness of fresh berries staining your fingers with their sweet-sour deliciousness.
You can WOD anywhere, but you can only feel the heartbeat of CrossFit in our
boxes.
It is impossible till
it’s not
My
new CrossFit shirt arrived yesterday; it’s the ones Rika Diedericks had made when
she went to the Games. In the accompanying letter she says: “CrossFit is about
community and I definitely experienced this in a big way at the Regionals where
it literally felt like I was being lifted through the rings by the amazing
support of the CrossFitters in the arena.”
We
all know what she means right? How we prove to ourselves, again and again, that
we’re better and stronger than we think we are; not because we believe it but
because our fellow CrossFitters do.
